Couch Chats: A Family Christmas Letter

Couch Chats: A Family Christmas Letter

Couch Chats: A Family Christmas Letter

Couch Chats: A Family Christmas Letter

Letters to my son...

Dear Son,

The time of dependence is quickly coming to an end. The time when you will begin to walk on your own will arrive very soon. As a parent, we long for the day when our baby takes his first step. Well, there are more "first steps" in life than just when you're learning to walk as a toddler.

There is the first step when you go off to kindergarten. There is the first step when you become a teenager. There is a first step when you learn to drive. There is a first step when you begin to date.

You are approaching your first step of graduation...of life after high school. Of life possibly away from home for the first time.

For me, in my life, this is a first step......letting you go. Am I scared? A little. Do I want it to happen....of course. Will I always "feel good and happy"...probably not. Will I worry...probably so. Will I be able to do it...not alone. Only with God's help. And He will help me. This is the time I have to trust Him most. I have to trust you with Him. I will no longer parent you in the same way. I will always be here for you...I will always love you no matter what. There is not anything you could ever do to change that, but my role for you will be different. I will have to let go....from the inside. It will be a little like dying. A good kind of dying for it will be allowing you to live...to live to your fullest potential...with "me" and my flesh out of the way.

I only pray and will always pray that God will be an ever-present force in your life. I pray and hope that if I have given you anything, if we have given you anything, it is the sure knowledge that God is always with you. He always loves you and He sent His son Jesus to die for you, that you might have eternal life. Never forget that. Never forget Him. For whatever you are, wherever you go...we will always be connected, as a parent to a child and as believer to believer. You are my firstborn. You have received a precious inheritance. Do not squander it.

Remember, with freedom comes responsibility. Your freedom is near...handle it with care.

I love you,
As always,
Mom

As Time Goes By

I sit here in the quiet of home. Sunshine outside, the dog laying at my feet, all is quiet and still. I listen for You. I sit here knowing Your presence is all around me. I wait on you. Trying to empty my mind of thoughts about the day. Things I need to do. Things I want to do. Things I have to do. I am so in awe of this life of mine. What I have been so blessed with. And how I see Your hand and heart on my life through all these years. How you have shaped me, formed me and guided me and loved me and comforted me and strengthened me and empowered me by your Holy Spirit. Taught me and given gifts to me that I would maybe have never unwrapped on my own. The awe and wonder of You. The transformations in the twinkling of an eye. Our lives go by so swiftly. It's not hard to remember feeling young. Remembering the past, seeing now how quickly it all goes. And the future here on earth, unknown, with the promise of a future with You. But then, You have been here all along. I long to see You face to face, without the limitations of this mortal body. We get a glimpse now and so many things are shadowed. But then it will all be clear.

I don't want to race through each day wondering at the end where all the time went, now that I see how quickly it has all raced by. It's like we set our eyes on some future event and before we realize it, it has come and gone. So quickly. And what did we do with all that waiting time? Did we wait on You? Where was our focus? What did we set our eyes on? The result? Did we truly enjoy the time to get there or just fret it away with silly duties and details.

I am missing my babies right now. Where did all that time go? Just yesterday they were in my arms and now they are grown and on their own. At the end, I don't want to regret one single moment. So keep me in the present. Remember the past but don't dwell on it. Think of the future but don't worry about it. Live in the now, see what's right in front of me and take each hour, each day at a time. Help me be ready for what You want to show me.

Only God!

You know it seems that most of us bloggers and writers so much of the time write out of our desperation, out of our pain, out of our circumstances. How often do we write out of our joy? How often do I allow myself to see the joy that surrounds me everyday?

For so long I wrote about my pain, my children and the circumstances that they were in and I found myself in. Very rarely was there joy in the circumstance but there certainly was joy in finding God's hand in everything that was going on. And when things were running smoothly, ie,the kids were not causing any major problems, there was joy in that as well because the heartache was kind of on the back burner. There seemed to be a break from reality of sorts. God was so gracious in giving me those breaks as well. But did I ever write about that? Not too often.

Well today I want to speak of a humanly unattainable joy. My heart has been filled to overflowing because of God's hand in my life and the lives of my children. Through times of doubt, fear, longing and thoughts of sure destruction, God made His presence most assuredly known.

I could not have ever conceived a better outcome. It is so true that He knows and provides beyond, far BEYOND our fleshly hearts desires and imaginations.

I praise Him for the men my boys have become and are ever becoming. To see their hearts turning to Him and the longing for knowledge, this change is too great for me to comprehend. Only God. Only God!

Is there perfection? Absolutely not. Is there conviction? I hope so...means they are listening. Is there sin? Of course. Do they love Him...without doubt! Are there still questions? Don't we all at some points in our lives!

The God of my heart has taken His rightful place in theirs and they have welcomed Him with open arms. There is still growing up to be done, but my confidence is no longer in my ability, like it ever really, truly was, but in God's ability to completely hold and protect their hearts.

For that, I can not thank Him enough....

Love Rescued

Love rescued me when love could not be found.
Hope found me when there was no hope given.
Jesus saved me from a life that I couldn't save.
Grace forgave me when I didn't deserve forgiven.

He was there when I didn't have the strength to seek Him.
He stayed with me when I wanted to leave.
He lifted me from the depths of my sin.
He loved me when I didn't believe.

Love never gives up...
It persues to the end.

Outside Looking In

As I sit here..outside, on this half-sunny day, I can see inside-where it's warm, people doin' "their thing". The little old man with his morning bowl of soup, here every day...the artist, with his bare canvas-waiting to "create" something new...the older married couple with their newspapers and books-talking some, reading more...the business man with his tablet and phone starting his day with coffee and ideas. And then me-on the outside looking in.

I can only see so far as I gaze through the window. I am limited by the darkness that reaches just beyond the edge. I can see myself the most clearly, sitting in the sun looking in, seeing my reflection in the glass. The clouds and trees behind me are muted, yet clear. I have never sat this way when here, usually looking out from the shade so as to avoid the sun. Yet, today being brisk, the sun feels wonderful on my face. That puts me in the awkward position of looking in...seeing myself and those just on the edge of darkness. It makes me a little uncomfortable because as I look in, it's hard to tell who is looking out...at me.

And then there's the sun...the warmth of it's light, the clearness of it's beauty, it's ability to illuminate with it's equal ability to conceal. You wonder how that can be possible. It seems contradictory. Doesn't light ALWAYS illuminate? How can light produce darkness? When our reflection and those things around us are brighter than what lies beyond the glass, that's when it happens. Sometimes we are on the inside, looking out at the light, still seeing clearly but not being clearly seen by those on the other side-actually sitting IN the light.

So many times when we are IN the light, we only see the perimeter, the edges of things-we can't see into the darkness because the light is too great. And sometimes when we are in the darkness looking out, we see everything in the light much more clearly. We can see all around us as well.

So which is better? To be IN the light with limited vision into the darkness or on the edge of darkness and able to see clearly out? Perhaps sometimes we are called to be in the light, to see our reflection clearly, for introspection and sometimes we are called to be on the edge of darkness-to look out and see the Light and Hope that resounds with overwhelming noise.

When we go through the dark times, God allows us to see beyond the edge-into the Light-to see the hope and future He has for us. When we are in the Light-God protects us from seeing into the darkness too clearly. We must at some point experience both places....for reflection and clarity.

A Matter of Life and Death

We all have heard the warning..."it's a matter of life and death!" Usually it is in reference to some significant occurance that we believe will bring death if we do not act upon it. It could be a life-threatening disease. It could be real or it could be a "potential" threat. We teach our children, for example, not to run out in the street. That truly could be a matter of life and death. Or we preach against risky behavior because that could be a matter of life or death.

So what does the phrase mean? In the matter of death, is it referring to our flesh which will die some day and go back to dust? And regarding the matter of life...is it speaking of our day-to-day existence with our day-to-day routines? What is the true meaning behind this warning? Does it have any importance in how we live our life? Can anything we do in life really affect our death? Afterall, we certainly know that death is something that none of us escapes. We are all treated equally when it comes to this particular aspect of life. None of us knows the day nor the hour that it will come and none of us can appoint our own time. This is truly all in God's hands.

And just what does happen when we die? Do we really know? Do we have any assurances that reach beyond our human doubt? Alot depends on what we believe in life. Personally, I cling to the promises found in Jesus. Not because I am weak or afraid, but because He IS my life. My only hope is in Him. My future is all in His hands and He saves me from death eternal. I do not believe that when all is said and done, I will go back to dust and that will be the end. If that was the case, it would raise the question; What was the point?

What about the unbeliever? The person who has no concern for end of life issues other than who they will leave their money to. The successful person who is healthy, happy, married with two kids and lives their life with wise caution-trying to stay on the straight and narrow. They are overall a "good" person. They pour everything into this life for once you're gone, you're gone. There really is no need for a "saviour". To be saved from what? Christians suffer as much as the next guy. These are the ones who probably never use the phrase in its most literal form. And should they? Should they be concerned with matters of life and death?

The only answer is yes. To put our faith and confidence in Jesus in this life, is to assure our place in death. Jesus was not JUST a nice guy who lived a long time ago to bring love and peace. He was not JUST a great prophet or a "good" person. He was and is the Son of God. He did not come here to bring happiness and an easy road in this life. His life was far from easy. He was hated by His own, betrayed by those who loved Him, beaten, spat upon and finally, hung on a cross and left to die. But his enemies didn't get it. They didn't understand the why. They didn't know WHO He was. That His death was NOT the end. He defeated death and the grave and He did it for us. He took on our sin to save US from certain death. He sacrificed His life so that our death would NOT be the worst thing to happen. Death would NOT have the final word. He gave His life so that we could have life and life everlasting.

So we are given a choice; To accept this life as it is with ultimate death OR choose Jesus and His promise of Life-now and without end. Now THAT is a matter of Life and Death to consider...

The Wild Seedling

As I look out my kitchen window, I see a tree in my neighbor's back yard that is not the prettiest. This particular tree grew from a wild seedling that had buried itself right next to the fence. You know the ones, you have to keep cutting them down or digging them up because a tree or weed is trying to grow. And you never know which one it's going to be. They drive you crazy. Well, this particular seedling was never cut down or dug up and was allowed to grow. Now I figure this happend because it was at the back of the yard, the house was up for sale and nobody payed any attention to it. By the time it was noticed, it had grown quite a bit and was probably considered too large to do anything with. Either that or no one really cared that it grew there, afterall it was in the back of the yard-hardly noticeable to the owner. So, for the past several years the tree has remained.

As far as I can tell, this tree has never been touched; never fertilized, never pruned, never given a second thought. It's limbs are growing awkwardly and the leaves are not very pretty, even in the spring. Where it sprouted, it does not provide any advantage to it's owner-no needed shade or fruit and it eventually will be destructive to the fence. If allowed to continue in it's wild nature it will be cut down or die. Now is that to say that the tree could never be beautiful? It would take a lot of care at this point because of the years of neglect, but nothing is usually impossible for a master gardener; one who is willing to take the time and give the attention required for transformation.

That tree is a perfect reminder to me of our lives without God. Without the One who plants us perfectly where needed, prunes us, waters and cares for us-we grow wildly. We try to plant ourselves where WE want to grow instead of letting Him plant us where we will grow best. Our rebellion against Him grows in all directions trying to survive. Our flesh sprouts and is awkward and ugly. We neglect our spiritual life, we don't give it a second thought. We provide no shade nor bear any fruit of benefit to anyone and eventually we are destructive to all that is around us. If allowed to continue we are cut down or we die in our sin. Is that to say that we could never be made beautiful? Nothing is impossible for the Master Gardener.

Don't let me be like that wild tree. Don't let my children be wild trees. Forgive our rebellion Lord. Plant us where we will grow best and prune us. Only You can transform us with care and love and attention. May we be willing...

Not Often Enough

Oh how fragile this life is! One moment we are here and all is well, the next we are gone or on our way out.

Are we really promised anything on this journey? Are we promised long life? Are we promised smooth roads? Are we promised no problems along the way? No to all. We are promised protection from the evil one. We are promised love, forgiveness, shelter. Well, shelter from what? We don't need shelter if there is never a storm. Don't need forgiveness if we never do wrong. Always need and desire love. Now that's the one thing it would be hard to live without and luckily, no faithfully, we don't have to.

So we make our plans, we dream our dreams and hope they all come true. But we must not forget the Creator of all we do, of all we are. Does it fit with His plans, His dreams for us? I do believe He has plans and dreams for us, I know He does. Do I move in such a way as to fulfill those dreams and plans? Probably not. Just like a child, I frequently want to go my own way and hope that it somehow fits in His plan. Not exactly what He had in mind.

And just as a young child longs to please his parents, I long to please my Father. And just as a parent is proud when his child does the right thing, so is my Father pleased when I follow Him and do the right thing.

How often does that happen?

My Letter to You

Dear Susan,

I love you so much. So much more than you would ever know or try to know. You are in my every thought. I go through every trial and celebration with you. I am always there.

I see how you worry sometimes about your boys. I see that you are trying to raise them on the path that they should go. Give them to Me. I promise to take care of them.

I see you with your mom. I know how much you love her and I see that you get frustrated with her at times. Know this, I love her too. Just as much as I love you. I see the impatience and intolerance on your part and I know her frustrations and intolerances too. Remember to give her to Me.

I see your love for your husband. You are faithful to him. He loves you. And I love him. With all his faults and inadequacies...he is Mine too.

I want you to draw closer to Me. I want you to read My word. I want you to be powerful in My name. I want you to be bold. Repent immediately when you hear My still, small voice-calling to you. Run to Me immediately when your burdens are hard to bear. I WILL give you rest. Turn back to your First Love. Love me like you did before. Don't let a day go by that we don't talk. Commune with Me. Be obedient to My word. Be more giving. I LOVE a giver who gives from their heart alone. With no strings attached. Stay close to My heart. Then I can talk to you and we can commune together. Sacrfice for Me. Pray to Me. Choose Me above all else. Love Me above all else. I love you above all else.

Jesus

The Answer

He sits on his bed with his head in his hands
Wondering where life is leading him.
He longs for a cure from past mistakes.
He doesn't notice the love around him

How did he get to this point
His childhood memories so pure
When did the road turn the other way
Leaving him so unsure.


The Answer so clear and yet escapes him
He cannot lift his eyes to see.
And there You sit by his side, feeling every tear
Longing to set him free.

Open his eyes, open his heart
To see beyond the hurt
And find You,right there
Where you've always been.

EVERY DAY IS THE SAME DAY

I wonder if some of you remember the movie "Groundhog Day". You know, that day that never ends...never changes. Same thing keeps happening over and over til you finally learn the lesson. Well, welcome to my world.

I have found that with the holidays coming up, my life seems to reflect that movie. Only it's not all me. Oh sure I have my routine that involves work, relaxation, family time. But the boys. Their lives are just the same day over and over again. It doesn't matter if it's Thanksgiving day or Christmas day or Tuesday. Every day is the same day. Get up, do what I HAVE to do to satisfy the folks and get on with MY day. There is no real sense of family, being together, laughing together, sharing life together. There is only MY life and those things that concern ME.

Now we are all selfish to a degree, but teenagers are a whole different breed. The world revolves around them. What will make ME happy today. What do I want to do today. What can satisfy ME today. I wonder, am I all THAT different? I mean, I go to work so that I can have the resources to give the kids and family the things they need, to give me resources to have the things I need and desire from time to time, to supply food, clothing, shelter and on it goes. They have jobs so that they can buy the gas that will take them to the friends house, or the bar, or the nearest fast food joint. Heaven forbid they give that money to anything other than themselves. Christmas, birthday? Oh they expect presents, but do they consider others when those times come around? Their attitude is more, just give me my stuff so I can leave and go to my friends house for the day...oh and thanks. I am to the point where I don't want to give them anything anymore. I don't want to force them to be with the family or go to church anymore. I don't want them living here anymore. And that is so sad, because I love them so very, very much and I don't think they have a clue as to how much.

And that's when the lightbulb goes on. This sounds so much like us with God. We go about our day, doing the things WE want to do, spending OUR money the way WE want to spend it and giving an..."oh thanks" on our way out the door. I have to believe that He gets so tired of us. He just doesn't want to force us to church anymore, or give us blessings anymore or even be around us anymore. And that is so sad because He loves us so very, very much and we don't have a clue as to how much.

But thanks be to our Great God, for He does not turn his back on us. Just as we would never give up on our children, God never gives up on us. We get weary and tired, but God does not. So when those times come, when we want to give up on those that we love so much, give them back to God and let Him handle it. He's had a lot more practice and He has unending love and patience. And in His sight, NO day is the same day....they are ALL a new day. Thank God!!

The Lord is my Father...

The Lord is my Father.
He loves me unconditionally.

He teaches me right from wrong.
He loves truth and turns His eye from evil.

When I stray, He disciplines me with His love.
When I am obedient, He empowers me with His love.

He watches out for my safety and protects me.
His mighty hand reaches out and saves me from calamity and death.

He feeds me from His abundance.
I do not hunger or thirst.

He comforts me in times of pain
And rejoices with me in times of success.
He keeps me close to His heart for His purposes.

Though I may walk the wider path,
He never leaves me. He never stops loving me.
He stands in the doorway expectantly watching for my return.
His house is always open and His arms are outstretched.

Surely He will keep me and I will dwell with Him all the days of my life.

Love Found

One lonely tree on a hill stood
Its future completely misunderstood
Those who saw it thought it shame
And the One who bore it would take the blame

Jesus carried that tree down a dark lonely road
Tired and weary from His heavy load
But He didn’t stop at all that day
For He knew the end would pave the way

I found Love on a hill that day
He hung from a cross and some would say
That He deserved it, to hang from that tree
But giving all, He did it for me

He opened His arms and gave His last breath
For God had ordained it to be His death
The final sacrifice so we could be saved
That tree would be the only way

I found Love on a hill that day
He hung from a cross and some would say
That He deserved it, to hang from that tree
But giving all, He did it for me

Going Home

When I breathe my last breath
And finally let go
I want to see Your face
If You are not there
Then this life of mine
Has only been a waste

I long for the day
When our eyes will meet
And I will hear You say
Welcome home my child
You have run your race
You have found your way

Don't be afraid to go home
Don't be afraid to finish
You are tired and weary away from Him
Go and let Him replenish

The day I was born
You were there with me
To see it all take place
To capture my heart
Was your greatest task
Even if You gave chase

Through all the years
You stayed close by my side
And never failed to see
That I did my all
To heed your call
And that’s what set me free

So…..
I won't be afraid to come home
I won't be afraid to finish
I am tired and weary away from You
I will come and let You replenish

Letters to my son....

Dear Son,

Well, it's done. Graduation is over, the parties are coming to an end. Preparation has begun for life after high school.

This past year has been tough with it's trials and tribulations. Those wings of yours have opened and you have begun to soar. As you fly above, look down and reflect on your life. The good, the bad, the meaningful and the meaningless. Throw away that which does not matter and cling to those things that do. Let go of past mistakes and start your future today. Start a path of defining moments that will define the true you. Son of ours and friend of God, sensitive and caring, striving to always do the right thing, defining your future and the course it will take.

These next few years will be fun, hard, life-changing years. You will explore your worth. You will fail, you will triumph. You will lose and you will win. You will make choices and reap the results of those choices...good or bad. You will let go of the child and grab onto the adult that so desparately wants to blossom. You will be loved by many and not by a few. Cling to the love and allow the hate to fall away. It's just not worth holding on to. Keep the Lord close to you. Cling to Him when there's nothing left to do. Listen to His still, small voice when deciding what to do. Walk with Him daily to know how to do. He's all you need.

Dad and I love you so much and are so excited to watch your future unfold. We are proud of you. We brag about you. When you hurt, we hurt. When you are excited, we are excited. When you are full of joy, we are full of joy. That's just how it goes with parents.

We have great expectations of your future. We have an assurance that all will be well with you.

Begin this adventrue with excitement and determination. It's a great ride...but hold on.

We love you Son, and are so proud of you....

Love,
Mom

WHAT NEXT?

As I ponder yet another disappointment, I have to ask myself, what next?  I know my questions are not earth-shattering problems.  I don't have anyone close to me suffering with an incurable disease, I haven't lost a job, I have a wonderful husband who love's me ....so why should I concern myself with, what's next?

You know, my "what's next" may not be significant in the whole scheme of life, but it is significant to me.  Therefore, I must conclude that it is also significant to God.  If He truly cares about every hair on my head, then He truly cares about my little world and it's seemingly insignificance.

But my question is, why am I so hurt by the choices of another.  Were they choices I made?  Certainly not.  Were they avoidable choices?  Absolutely.  Are they now coming back to haunt?  You betcha!  One would think that the recipient of all this would be saying "What's Next".  But, that is not the case.  The recipient of the continual "bad news" just keeps taking things in stride.  An "oh well" attitude.  It doesn't seem to motivate him to do any better.  It doesn't seem to make him remorseful.  It doesn't seem to really matter at all.  Is that just a show, or is he truly being touched somehow.  You know we have our way of making our outward appearance seem fine when we are dying on the inside.

For me, it all comes back to that "love" thing.  That stuff God has for us and we in turn have for OUR children.  I am getting a closer and closer glimpse of just what God goes through everytime we go around the same mountain.  I am getting a glimpse of what it means to truly reap what you sow.  I am getting a glimpse of His frustration with His people after time and time-again getting chances to do it right.  I am getting a glimpse of His Heart.  So much bigger than mine and yet just as breakable. 

So here I am, stuck again, in the heart, with a knife.  And this one has two edges, so it can rightly divide my flesh from the spirit.  It makes my heart hurt and my flesh ache.  But I know, that this "working" in me will draw me closer to Him, and in the end, that's all I want.  No, I can't say that's ALL I want.  In complete honesty, I want my kids to be drawn closer to Him.  And maybe they are, maybe all this IS having an affect on them.  Maybe, they are starting to see.  Maybe....

So, "what's next" isn't really a question I should be asking.  For I know, that whatever is next, is doing it's work in me and those around me.  I have to trust....yeah, there's that "word" that none of us really like, I have to trust, that God knows my future and that of my kids.  And that He has their best in mind at ALL times.  And I have to trust, that they will someday make that choice for themselves.  I just can't do it for them and the Lord knows I have tried.  So, what's next???  We'll just have to wait and see.

For the Boyz

I know that you are growing
By many leaps and bounds
And no longer any prints
On my walls or cupboards found.

And as you grow along
Into a fine young man
I still see those little fingers
And it's hard to understand.

Where all the time flew by
It seemed to go so fast
The distance now between us
Has me longing for the past.

To hold you once again
Enclosed within my arms
Would be my hearts desire
To keep you from all harm.

But as you grow and soar
Remember this one thing
The baby bird must fly
Before he learns to sing.

Go after life...Grab it...Don't let go!
For God has made you for just a time as this....

I love you boys...
Mom

Love's Plan

"I know the plans that I have for you...."  (Jeremiah 29:11) That's a verse that we Christians cling to.  We use it for ourselves.  We use it for our children, our families, our friends.  We hold on to that promise every day.  There are a lot of promises in the Bible, but that one seems to sum it all up.  It comforts us, it gives us peace and reminds us of God's constant love for us.  His intimate, heart-piercing love for all His children.

You know, I have plans for my children too.  Plans for good and not for evil.  Plans for a future and a hope.  And like God, I too, love my children more than life itself.  If I could give my life for theirs, I would,  If it would save them, I would.  Just as God did for us.  He gave us Jesus because He loved us that much.  There was one big difference,  Jesus WAS able to save us.  He was God made flesh and walked among us.  He suffered our sufferings.  He walked where we walk, but He was without sin.  A far cry from my abilities.

There is something about love that drives us.  It consumes us.  It gives us purpose.  It is hopeful.  It is something we can't live without.  It desires only the best.  It drives us to do things.  As a parent, I want to solve everything for my kids.  I want to usher them into success, skirt them away from failure, help them avoid costly mistakes.  But as I contemplate that, is that really the right thing to do?  Does God do that for us?  Does He take our hand and make our lives a bed of roses?  Why then, do I feel it necessary to do that for MY children.

God gives us principles to live by.  He teaches us in love the meaning of integrity, of unselfishness, of serving others.  He GUIDES us with His love.  The choice is still ours.  We have to "determine" what we will do.  He may not like our choices, but He doesn't stop loving us because of them, nor do we stop loving our children.

Maybe somewhere along the way, I didn't GUIDE them as I should have.  Or is it that my kids "determined" their own way in spite of guidance.  And is that a reflection on me?  Is it a reflection on God when we don't follow His way?  Certainly not. It's not His fault that we choose to go our own way.  And it's not our fault when our children do the same. It breaks God's heart when our choices cause us pain. And it breaks my heart when my kids choices cause pain. 

But God is God and I'm not.  He is the one in control.  I am only human.  And my children are human and make choices for which THEY are responsible....not me.  I have to let them go at some point.  God let's us go at some point, to make choices and learn the best way for us.  We don't always do it right, but He is always there.  My kids won't always do it right, but they need to know that I will always be there....because that's Love's Plan.