He sits on his bed with his head in his hands
Wondering where life is leading him.
He longs for a cure from past mistakes.
He doesn't notice the love around him
How did he get to this point
His childhood memories so pure
When did the road turn the other way
Leaving him so unsure.
The Answer so clear and yet escapes him
He cannot lift his eyes to see.
And there You sit by his side, feeling every tear
Longing to set him free.
Open his eyes, open his heart
To see beyond the hurt
And find You,right there
Where you've always been.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
EVERY DAY IS THE SAME DAY
I wonder if some of you remember the movie "Groundhog Day". You know, that day that never ends...never changes. Same thing keeps happening over and over til you finally learn the lesson. Well, welcome to my world.
I have found that with the holidays coming up, my life seems to reflect that movie. Only it's not all me. Oh sure I have my routine that involves work, relaxation, family time. But the boys. Their lives are just the same day over and over again. It doesn't matter if it's Thanksgiving day or Christmas day or Tuesday. Every day is the same day. Get up, do what I HAVE to do to satisfy the folks and get on with MY day. There is no real sense of family, being together, laughing together, sharing life together. There is only MY life and those things that concern ME.
Now we are all selfish to a degree, but teenagers are a whole different breed. The world revolves around them. What will make ME happy today. What do I want to do today. What can satisfy ME today. I wonder, am I all THAT different? I mean, I go to work so that I can have the resources to give the kids and family the things they need, to give me resources to have the things I need and desire from time to time, to supply food, clothing, shelter and on it goes. They have jobs so that they can buy the gas that will take them to the friends house, or the bar, or the nearest fast food joint. Heaven forbid they give that money to anything other than themselves. Christmas, birthday? Oh they expect presents, but do they consider others when those times come around? Their attitude is more, just give me my stuff so I can leave and go to my friends house for the day...oh and thanks. I am to the point where I don't want to give them anything anymore. I don't want to force them to be with the family or go to church anymore. I don't want them living here anymore. And that is so sad, because I love them so very, very much and I don't think they have a clue as to how much.
And that's when the lightbulb goes on. This sounds so much like us with God. We go about our day, doing the things WE want to do, spending OUR money the way WE want to spend it and giving an..."oh thanks" on our way out the door. I have to believe that He gets so tired of us. He just doesn't want to force us to church anymore, or give us blessings anymore or even be around us anymore. And that is so sad because He loves us so very, very much and we don't have a clue as to how much.
But thanks be to our Great God, for He does not turn his back on us. Just as we would never give up on our children, God never gives up on us. We get weary and tired, but God does not. So when those times come, when we want to give up on those that we love so much, give them back to God and let Him handle it. He's had a lot more practice and He has unending love and patience. And in His sight, NO day is the same day....they are ALL a new day. Thank God!!
I have found that with the holidays coming up, my life seems to reflect that movie. Only it's not all me. Oh sure I have my routine that involves work, relaxation, family time. But the boys. Their lives are just the same day over and over again. It doesn't matter if it's Thanksgiving day or Christmas day or Tuesday. Every day is the same day. Get up, do what I HAVE to do to satisfy the folks and get on with MY day. There is no real sense of family, being together, laughing together, sharing life together. There is only MY life and those things that concern ME.
Now we are all selfish to a degree, but teenagers are a whole different breed. The world revolves around them. What will make ME happy today. What do I want to do today. What can satisfy ME today. I wonder, am I all THAT different? I mean, I go to work so that I can have the resources to give the kids and family the things they need, to give me resources to have the things I need and desire from time to time, to supply food, clothing, shelter and on it goes. They have jobs so that they can buy the gas that will take them to the friends house, or the bar, or the nearest fast food joint. Heaven forbid they give that money to anything other than themselves. Christmas, birthday? Oh they expect presents, but do they consider others when those times come around? Their attitude is more, just give me my stuff so I can leave and go to my friends house for the day...oh and thanks. I am to the point where I don't want to give them anything anymore. I don't want to force them to be with the family or go to church anymore. I don't want them living here anymore. And that is so sad, because I love them so very, very much and I don't think they have a clue as to how much.
And that's when the lightbulb goes on. This sounds so much like us with God. We go about our day, doing the things WE want to do, spending OUR money the way WE want to spend it and giving an..."oh thanks" on our way out the door. I have to believe that He gets so tired of us. He just doesn't want to force us to church anymore, or give us blessings anymore or even be around us anymore. And that is so sad because He loves us so very, very much and we don't have a clue as to how much.
But thanks be to our Great God, for He does not turn his back on us. Just as we would never give up on our children, God never gives up on us. We get weary and tired, but God does not. So when those times come, when we want to give up on those that we love so much, give them back to God and let Him handle it. He's had a lot more practice and He has unending love and patience. And in His sight, NO day is the same day....they are ALL a new day. Thank God!!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The Lord is my Father...
The Lord is my Father.
He loves me unconditionally.
He teaches me right from wrong.
He loves truth and turns His eye from evil.
When I stray, He disciplines me with His love.
When I am obedient, He empowers me with His love.
He watches out for my safety and protects me.
His mighty hand reaches out and saves me from calamity and death.
He feeds me from His abundance.
I do not hunger or thirst.
He comforts me in times of pain
And rejoices with me in times of success.
He keeps me close to His heart for His purposes.
Though I may walk the wider path,
He never leaves me. He never stops loving me.
He stands in the doorway expectantly watching for my return.
His house is always open and His arms are outstretched.
Surely He will keep me and I will dwell with Him all the days of my life.
He loves me unconditionally.
He teaches me right from wrong.
He loves truth and turns His eye from evil.
When I stray, He disciplines me with His love.
When I am obedient, He empowers me with His love.
He watches out for my safety and protects me.
His mighty hand reaches out and saves me from calamity and death.
He feeds me from His abundance.
I do not hunger or thirst.
He comforts me in times of pain
And rejoices with me in times of success.
He keeps me close to His heart for His purposes.
Though I may walk the wider path,
He never leaves me. He never stops loving me.
He stands in the doorway expectantly watching for my return.
His house is always open and His arms are outstretched.
Surely He will keep me and I will dwell with Him all the days of my life.
Love Found
One lonely tree on a hill stood
Its future completely misunderstood
Those who saw it thought it shame
And the One who bore it would take the blame
Jesus carried that tree down a dark lonely road
Tired and weary from His heavy load
But He didn’t stop at all that day
For He knew the end would pave the way
I found Love on a hill that day
He hung from a cross and some would say
That He deserved it, to hang from that tree
But giving all, He did it for me
He opened His arms and gave His last breath
For God had ordained it to be His death
The final sacrifice so we could be saved
That tree would be the only way
I found Love on a hill that day
He hung from a cross and some would say
That He deserved it, to hang from that tree
But giving all, He did it for me
Its future completely misunderstood
Those who saw it thought it shame
And the One who bore it would take the blame
Jesus carried that tree down a dark lonely road
Tired and weary from His heavy load
But He didn’t stop at all that day
For He knew the end would pave the way
I found Love on a hill that day
He hung from a cross and some would say
That He deserved it, to hang from that tree
But giving all, He did it for me
He opened His arms and gave His last breath
For God had ordained it to be His death
The final sacrifice so we could be saved
That tree would be the only way
I found Love on a hill that day
He hung from a cross and some would say
That He deserved it, to hang from that tree
But giving all, He did it for me
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Going Home
When I breathe my last breath
And finally let go
I want to see Your face
If You are not there
Then this life of mine
Has only been a waste
I long for the day
When our eyes will meet
And I will hear You say
Welcome home my child
You have run your race
You have found your way
Don't be afraid to go home
Don't be afraid to finish
You are tired and weary away from Him
Go and let Him replenish
The day I was born
You were there with me
To see it all take place
To capture my heart
Was your greatest task
Even if You gave chase
Through all the years
You stayed close by my side
And never failed to see
That I did my all
To heed your call
And that’s what set me free
So…..
I won't be afraid to come home
I won't be afraid to finish
I am tired and weary away from You
I will come and let You replenish
And finally let go
I want to see Your face
If You are not there
Then this life of mine
Has only been a waste
I long for the day
When our eyes will meet
And I will hear You say
Welcome home my child
You have run your race
You have found your way
Don't be afraid to go home
Don't be afraid to finish
You are tired and weary away from Him
Go and let Him replenish
The day I was born
You were there with me
To see it all take place
To capture my heart
Was your greatest task
Even if You gave chase
Through all the years
You stayed close by my side
And never failed to see
That I did my all
To heed your call
And that’s what set me free
So…..
I won't be afraid to come home
I won't be afraid to finish
I am tired and weary away from You
I will come and let You replenish
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Letters to my son....
Dear Son,
Well, it's done. Graduation is over, the parties are coming to an end. Preparation has begun for life after high school.
This past year has been tough with it's trials and tribulations. Those wings of yours have opened and you have begun to soar. As you fly above, look down and reflect on your life. The good, the bad, the meaningful and the meaningless. Throw away that which does not matter and cling to those things that do. Let go of past mistakes and start your future today. Start a path of defining moments that will define the true you. Son of ours and friend of God, sensitive and caring, striving to always do the right thing, defining your future and the course it will take.
These next few years will be fun, hard, life-changing years. You will explore your worth. You will fail, you will triumph. You will lose and you will win. You will make choices and reap the results of those choices...good or bad. You will let go of the child and grab onto the adult that so desparately wants to blossom. You will be loved by many and not by a few. Cling to the love and allow the hate to fall away. It's just not worth holding on to. Keep the Lord close to you. Cling to Him when there's nothing left to do. Listen to His still, small voice when deciding what to do. Walk with Him daily to know how to do. He's all you need.
Dad and I love you so much and are so excited to watch your future unfold. We are proud of you. We brag about you. When you hurt, we hurt. When you are excited, we are excited. When you are full of joy, we are full of joy. That's just how it goes with parents.
We have great expectations of your future. We have an assurance that all will be well with you.
Begin this adventrue with excitement and determination. It's a great ride...but hold on.
We love you Son, and are so proud of you....
Love,
Mom
Well, it's done. Graduation is over, the parties are coming to an end. Preparation has begun for life after high school.
This past year has been tough with it's trials and tribulations. Those wings of yours have opened and you have begun to soar. As you fly above, look down and reflect on your life. The good, the bad, the meaningful and the meaningless. Throw away that which does not matter and cling to those things that do. Let go of past mistakes and start your future today. Start a path of defining moments that will define the true you. Son of ours and friend of God, sensitive and caring, striving to always do the right thing, defining your future and the course it will take.
These next few years will be fun, hard, life-changing years. You will explore your worth. You will fail, you will triumph. You will lose and you will win. You will make choices and reap the results of those choices...good or bad. You will let go of the child and grab onto the adult that so desparately wants to blossom. You will be loved by many and not by a few. Cling to the love and allow the hate to fall away. It's just not worth holding on to. Keep the Lord close to you. Cling to Him when there's nothing left to do. Listen to His still, small voice when deciding what to do. Walk with Him daily to know how to do. He's all you need.
Dad and I love you so much and are so excited to watch your future unfold. We are proud of you. We brag about you. When you hurt, we hurt. When you are excited, we are excited. When you are full of joy, we are full of joy. That's just how it goes with parents.
We have great expectations of your future. We have an assurance that all will be well with you.
Begin this adventrue with excitement and determination. It's a great ride...but hold on.
We love you Son, and are so proud of you....
Love,
Mom
Saturday, August 6, 2011
WHAT NEXT?
As I ponder yet another disappointment, I have to ask myself, what next? I know my questions are not earth-shattering problems. I don't have anyone close to me suffering with an incurable disease, I haven't lost a job, I have a wonderful husband who love's me ....so why should I concern myself with, what's next?
You know, my "what's next" may not be significant in the whole scheme of life, but it is significant to me. Therefore, I must conclude that it is also significant to God. If He truly cares about every hair on my head, then He truly cares about my little world and it's seemingly insignificance.
But my question is, why am I so hurt by the choices of another. Were they choices I made? Certainly not. Were they avoidable choices? Absolutely. Are they now coming back to haunt? You betcha! One would think that the recipient of all this would be saying "What's Next". But, that is not the case. The recipient of the continual "bad news" just keeps taking things in stride. An "oh well" attitude. It doesn't seem to motivate him to do any better. It doesn't seem to make him remorseful. It doesn't seem to really matter at all. Is that just a show, or is he truly being touched somehow. You know we have our way of making our outward appearance seem fine when we are dying on the inside.
For me, it all comes back to that "love" thing. That stuff God has for us and we in turn have for OUR children. I am getting a closer and closer glimpse of just what God goes through everytime we go around the same mountain. I am getting a glimpse of what it means to truly reap what you sow. I am getting a glimpse of His frustration with His people after time and time-again getting chances to do it right. I am getting a glimpse of His Heart. So much bigger than mine and yet just as breakable.
So here I am, stuck again, in the heart, with a knife. And this one has two edges, so it can rightly divide my flesh from the spirit. It makes my heart hurt and my flesh ache. But I know, that this "working" in me will draw me closer to Him, and in the end, that's all I want. No, I can't say that's ALL I want. In complete honesty, I want my kids to be drawn closer to Him. And maybe they are, maybe all this IS having an affect on them. Maybe, they are starting to see. Maybe....
So, "what's next" isn't really a question I should be asking. For I know, that whatever is next, is doing it's work in me and those around me. I have to trust....yeah, there's that "word" that none of us really like, I have to trust, that God knows my future and that of my kids. And that He has their best in mind at ALL times. And I have to trust, that they will someday make that choice for themselves. I just can't do it for them and the Lord knows I have tried. So, what's next??? We'll just have to wait and see.
You know, my "what's next" may not be significant in the whole scheme of life, but it is significant to me. Therefore, I must conclude that it is also significant to God. If He truly cares about every hair on my head, then He truly cares about my little world and it's seemingly insignificance.
But my question is, why am I so hurt by the choices of another. Were they choices I made? Certainly not. Were they avoidable choices? Absolutely. Are they now coming back to haunt? You betcha! One would think that the recipient of all this would be saying "What's Next". But, that is not the case. The recipient of the continual "bad news" just keeps taking things in stride. An "oh well" attitude. It doesn't seem to motivate him to do any better. It doesn't seem to make him remorseful. It doesn't seem to really matter at all. Is that just a show, or is he truly being touched somehow. You know we have our way of making our outward appearance seem fine when we are dying on the inside.
For me, it all comes back to that "love" thing. That stuff God has for us and we in turn have for OUR children. I am getting a closer and closer glimpse of just what God goes through everytime we go around the same mountain. I am getting a glimpse of what it means to truly reap what you sow. I am getting a glimpse of His frustration with His people after time and time-again getting chances to do it right. I am getting a glimpse of His Heart. So much bigger than mine and yet just as breakable.
So here I am, stuck again, in the heart, with a knife. And this one has two edges, so it can rightly divide my flesh from the spirit. It makes my heart hurt and my flesh ache. But I know, that this "working" in me will draw me closer to Him, and in the end, that's all I want. No, I can't say that's ALL I want. In complete honesty, I want my kids to be drawn closer to Him. And maybe they are, maybe all this IS having an affect on them. Maybe, they are starting to see. Maybe....
So, "what's next" isn't really a question I should be asking. For I know, that whatever is next, is doing it's work in me and those around me. I have to trust....yeah, there's that "word" that none of us really like, I have to trust, that God knows my future and that of my kids. And that He has their best in mind at ALL times. And I have to trust, that they will someday make that choice for themselves. I just can't do it for them and the Lord knows I have tried. So, what's next??? We'll just have to wait and see.
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