Here's how I picture it in Heaven. God, the Judge, is sitting at His bench. You know the one, the big chair, the big desk and the big hammer....yeah, that's the one. Jesus is at the defense table, ready to go and the Holy Spirit is co-counsel. And there you sit, at the defense table. You look over at the prosecution and who do you see??? Yes, it's him, you know the one, the Liar, the Thief, the Accuser, the Prosecuter, the one and only....Satan himself. He is sitting so smug, just ready to pounce. He can't wait to make his opening statement. Can't wait to tell the court all the dirty little things you have done, thought, contemplated doing, said, looked at, lusted for, coveted....and so on. He is chomping at the bit.
Finally, he speaks...."If it please the court...(which, of course, is God's court and no, it does not please Him)...I am here today to prove the guilt of one said defendent. I will present evidence to prove their guilt. You will know beyond a shadow of a doubt."
And there you sit, cringing in your seat because YOU KNOW, yes, you know he is speaking truth about you. You know all the things you have hidden in your heart and those things that you have not.....you have just outright done. You begin to sink into your chair. What can you possibly do to defend yourself.....And then you realize....NOTHING. You've done it, you're guilty as charged and you should never go free. Prison for life. Perhaps even death. That's what you deserve. That's the only RIGHT thing.
But you glance over at your Lawyer. He is slowly rising to His feet. It's His turn to speak. You almost want to grab Him and make Him sit down because there is nothing to be done. Nothing to be said.
Do a plea bargain! Yeah, that would work. Maybe you wouldn't get the death penalty.
But you can't stop Him. He's too quick and already talking. You hear compassion in His voice. You hear anger in His voice against the accuser. You hear His Authority. You so want to ask WHY? Why has He taken my case? What is so special about me?
And then He turns to the Judge. He reminds Him that your debt, your crime, your sin, your nature was already paid for by someone else. He reminds Him that you are not perfect...that you were not made to be perfect. You were only made to love and praise and worship and obey God. And that with the help of the Holy Spirit..that's what you did. Oh you failed, just as Satan has accused, but your Lawyer saw more than failure...He saw a willing heart that was made of clay, ready to be shaped and formed into the likeness of your Son, Judge. You begin to understand. That's why He took the case. Because He saw. He knew. He always did.....and there was not ONE THING you could do about it. Your guilt became His guilt so you could go free....
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
More Thoughts
I was thinking today in church as I was meditating on the "desert": what does a young woman think about when she is wanting to get married? I mean, if she isn't married, can't that be a desert experience if that is her heart's desire. So, she is dating a handsome young man, and her thoughts are..."choose me, pick me, let me be the one...". Maybe he meets all her requirements...he's handsome, he's kind, he's funny, he's a Christian and so on. And sometimes God doesn't answer for a long time. And the guy never talks of marriage. What does she do? She waits. Waits on him, waits on God, waits on her dreams and hopes for a future....she waits.
Although that is not my current situation, it once was. When I was single and would date a Christian man, I would think..."maybe this is the one...maybe he will choose me". For so many, or few in my case, "NO" was the answer. Oh how disappointed I would be. But, continued to trust God.
The desert has arrived once again. Now it's with my young adult sons. I so want them to meet a nice Christian girl. I so want them to follow God and have a relationship with Him. I so want God to "choose them, pick them, let them be the ones He chooses." We know from His word that God chooses those He will. He blesses those He will. He pretty much does what ever He wants. I just have to keep praying that He WILL choose them. They are walking their own path right now and I know they have to, they can't walk mine or their fathers. I just feel assured that God is walking right next to them. Like the song says, "When you can't see His hand, trust His heart". I do trust His heart.
Although that is not my current situation, it once was. When I was single and would date a Christian man, I would think..."maybe this is the one...maybe he will choose me". For so many, or few in my case, "NO" was the answer. Oh how disappointed I would be. But, continued to trust God.
The desert has arrived once again. Now it's with my young adult sons. I so want them to meet a nice Christian girl. I so want them to follow God and have a relationship with Him. I so want God to "choose them, pick them, let them be the ones He chooses." We know from His word that God chooses those He will. He blesses those He will. He pretty much does what ever He wants. I just have to keep praying that He WILL choose them. They are walking their own path right now and I know they have to, they can't walk mine or their fathers. I just feel assured that God is walking right next to them. Like the song says, "When you can't see His hand, trust His heart". I do trust His heart.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
A Family Christmas Letter
Merry Christmas Everyone,
Well, it’s that time of year for our family sharing with all of our wonderful friends and loved ones.
It’s been a tough year, to say the least. To start off the year, we had some very sad news. Our daughter, we found out, was pregnant. Yes, our 14 year old was on her way to motherhood. As you can imagine, this was a terrible embarrassment for the whole family. We, as parents, couldn’t figure out where we went wrong. We went to church every Sunday. We celebrated all the religious holidays in honor to God. We taught our children the right path according to the Bible. But, as we all know, kids have their own paths they sometimes must follow.
Of course our first inclination was to find this boy, with shotgun in hand, string him up and ask questions later. Then sanity took over and we realized we would not be free for long if we hurt him. So, we tried another approach. We would REASON with our daughter, convince her to tell us who this young man was and WHAT WAS SHE THINKING. I’m afraid we did not come across as the most caring and sensitive parents at that point. She of course, did not wish to disclose this information right away. I wanted nothing more than to have a sit-down with him, his parents and our daughter and ask him, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING. It became obvious to us, this was not going to happen.
Our next thought was, how are we going to tell everyone. We felt such shame and humiliation. After all, don’t we want our children to be perfect, to emulate us, to be mature and self-controlled at ALL times, just like we? Well, that little fairy-tale just blew up in our faces. Honestly? We just wanted the whole thing to go away.
We went through ALL the thoughts. Abortion, adoption, maybe she’ll miscarry, maybe the test was WRONG. Everything swept through our mind like a crazy whirlwind. It took us a while to “be still, and know that I am God”. Where WAS God in all this? He had deserted us. How could He disappear in such a storm as this? Her dad and I had lain awakened many hours for many nights. What was going to happen to our little girl? She was too young to be a mother. Would her body even bear the physical changes that wouldtake place inside and out? What would we do with the child after it was born? She would lose a child and we would lose a grandchild. Not my dream for me or my daughter. I thought of the stigma attached to a girl pregnant out of wedlock, although that stigma is not as strong as it once was. Still, I looked ahead to some day when she would marry and what would her future husband think? Would he be hurt by the decisions and choices she made at such a young age? Would he refuse to marry her when he found out? All these questions and.......no answers.
One day, about 3 months into the pregnancy, a young man showed up at our door. She was with him. They came into our home and sat us both down. They talked of love, (had to be childish infatuation-after all, she’s only 14) and their desire to marry some day. Some day, I thought, what about now? What was my little girl to do now, today? She was going to be quitting school soon and going to one of those private schools for pregnant girls. She was going to have a BABY. What was marrying her SOME DAY going to do for any of us NOW?
As you can see, my frustration was coming out loud and clear. I don’t think anybody cared about what I thought or what I was going through. It’s hard for a parent to see their child have to suffer through such adult things. But, there was one thing I kept missing. I kept forgetting to TALK to my daughter. What was SHE thinking, what was SHE feeling about all this? She said very little most of the time.
One night, in the dark, she crept into our room. Once again, we were awake, contemplating our situation and trying to figure out some answers to some very scary questions. She slipped in as she had so many times as a small child, scared and whimpering as though there was a bad storm outside. This time, the storm was inside. It was rising up in her. She was afraid. She was afraid of us, she was afraid of what was to come, she was afraid of what others would think of her, she was afraid she would not be a good mother....she was afraid. She crawled into bed between us and quietly wept as we held her in our arms.
The next morning, hoping that all this had just been a bad dream and now it was time to wake up, there we were, all three in bed still in our same circumstance. Our daughter made a declaration that morning. This was really the first time she talked openly about her situation. She had made a decision during the night. She was going to go through with it. Not only was she going to HAVE the baby, she was going to keep it and raise it and marry that young man she had brought over to meet us.
As you can imagine, we were stunned and probably for the first time, speechless. When we picked our chins up from the floor, we began our dissertation about ALL the reasons why she was wrong and would be sorry and how it would ruin her life. How would she finish school? Without a high school education, what would her future look like? What about college-our dream for all our children? What about success in life? How would they live? On what would they live? Where would they live? Our immediate thought-you’re not freeloading here!; then quickly grabbed those words back as we thought of our grandchild out in the cold somewhere with two jobless parents and no roof over their heads. Oh the agony. What was this going to do to US? Not, what would this do to them or their child.
I realized that I was taking this personally. Why had she done this to ME? Why had she let herself get into this dilemma? Why was she punishing ME? Did she dislike her family that much?
And then I thought about what a good daughter she had ALWAYS been. Honest, faithful, true. Never shy about her love for us and her family. Something just wasn’t right. Something in this story wasn’t fitting. I decided to have a sit down talk with the young man who supposedly was the father. He was very shy at first. Quiet, yet calm. He had warm eyes and an endearing smile. He told me of his love for our daughter. How he knew the minute he saw her that she was the one for him. I thought, c’mon, she’s only 14. What could you possibly see that would intrigue you? It was very hard for me to control my thoughts. My first reaction was to think “child molester”, but my spirit would not let me go there. There was just something about this boy....this man. Then it hit me like a huge, gigantic boulder. This guy was not the baby’s father. He was placing himself in that role, but he was not the one. Then who???? Who had been the “child molester”? Who had abused our daughter?
That night, l lay awake once again, trying to make sense of it all. We had asked our daughter over and over, who was the father. She had never really given us an answer. What was she afraid of? Had she truly been abused by some stranger? Had she been raped? Should we have aborted this baby after all? Had a crime been committed? Did we need to seek legal advice? What were we to do?
We never did get the WHOLE story. Just to appease us, she made up some tale that was truly not believable. We decided that maybe she needed some “help”. What kind of help was yet to be determined. Was she just desperate for attention? Going through some rebellious stage? Lord knows, we gave her all the attention she needed.
After the many months of questions and frustration and agony over our daughters situation, she finally delivered her baby. What a beautiful baby boy. His eyes are not like any I have ever seen before. There is warmth and compassion in them. How can that be? He is such a small baby. Our grandson. Oh, how we love him. And how we can feel his love for us. What were we thinking those many months ago? Now, we would never have it any other way. They are right, what they say about being a grandparent, there’s nothing like it. And our daughter has blossomed. She is a perfect mother. She was not being rebellious or trying to hurt her family. She was simply being obedient.
She and Joseph will be getting married this month. We’d like to invite you all to the wedding...And you can meet our grandson and her son....Jesus.
Love to you all.....
Well, it’s that time of year for our family sharing with all of our wonderful friends and loved ones.
It’s been a tough year, to say the least. To start off the year, we had some very sad news. Our daughter, we found out, was pregnant. Yes, our 14 year old was on her way to motherhood. As you can imagine, this was a terrible embarrassment for the whole family. We, as parents, couldn’t figure out where we went wrong. We went to church every Sunday. We celebrated all the religious holidays in honor to God. We taught our children the right path according to the Bible. But, as we all know, kids have their own paths they sometimes must follow.
Of course our first inclination was to find this boy, with shotgun in hand, string him up and ask questions later. Then sanity took over and we realized we would not be free for long if we hurt him. So, we tried another approach. We would REASON with our daughter, convince her to tell us who this young man was and WHAT WAS SHE THINKING. I’m afraid we did not come across as the most caring and sensitive parents at that point. She of course, did not wish to disclose this information right away. I wanted nothing more than to have a sit-down with him, his parents and our daughter and ask him, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING. It became obvious to us, this was not going to happen.
Our next thought was, how are we going to tell everyone. We felt such shame and humiliation. After all, don’t we want our children to be perfect, to emulate us, to be mature and self-controlled at ALL times, just like we? Well, that little fairy-tale just blew up in our faces. Honestly? We just wanted the whole thing to go away.
We went through ALL the thoughts. Abortion, adoption, maybe she’ll miscarry, maybe the test was WRONG. Everything swept through our mind like a crazy whirlwind. It took us a while to “be still, and know that I am God”. Where WAS God in all this? He had deserted us. How could He disappear in such a storm as this? Her dad and I had lain awakened many hours for many nights. What was going to happen to our little girl? She was too young to be a mother. Would her body even bear the physical changes that wouldtake place inside and out? What would we do with the child after it was born? She would lose a child and we would lose a grandchild. Not my dream for me or my daughter. I thought of the stigma attached to a girl pregnant out of wedlock, although that stigma is not as strong as it once was. Still, I looked ahead to some day when she would marry and what would her future husband think? Would he be hurt by the decisions and choices she made at such a young age? Would he refuse to marry her when he found out? All these questions and.......no answers.
One day, about 3 months into the pregnancy, a young man showed up at our door. She was with him. They came into our home and sat us both down. They talked of love, (had to be childish infatuation-after all, she’s only 14) and their desire to marry some day. Some day, I thought, what about now? What was my little girl to do now, today? She was going to be quitting school soon and going to one of those private schools for pregnant girls. She was going to have a BABY. What was marrying her SOME DAY going to do for any of us NOW?
As you can see, my frustration was coming out loud and clear. I don’t think anybody cared about what I thought or what I was going through. It’s hard for a parent to see their child have to suffer through such adult things. But, there was one thing I kept missing. I kept forgetting to TALK to my daughter. What was SHE thinking, what was SHE feeling about all this? She said very little most of the time.
One night, in the dark, she crept into our room. Once again, we were awake, contemplating our situation and trying to figure out some answers to some very scary questions. She slipped in as she had so many times as a small child, scared and whimpering as though there was a bad storm outside. This time, the storm was inside. It was rising up in her. She was afraid. She was afraid of us, she was afraid of what was to come, she was afraid of what others would think of her, she was afraid she would not be a good mother....she was afraid. She crawled into bed between us and quietly wept as we held her in our arms.
The next morning, hoping that all this had just been a bad dream and now it was time to wake up, there we were, all three in bed still in our same circumstance. Our daughter made a declaration that morning. This was really the first time she talked openly about her situation. She had made a decision during the night. She was going to go through with it. Not only was she going to HAVE the baby, she was going to keep it and raise it and marry that young man she had brought over to meet us.
As you can imagine, we were stunned and probably for the first time, speechless. When we picked our chins up from the floor, we began our dissertation about ALL the reasons why she was wrong and would be sorry and how it would ruin her life. How would she finish school? Without a high school education, what would her future look like? What about college-our dream for all our children? What about success in life? How would they live? On what would they live? Where would they live? Our immediate thought-you’re not freeloading here!; then quickly grabbed those words back as we thought of our grandchild out in the cold somewhere with two jobless parents and no roof over their heads. Oh the agony. What was this going to do to US? Not, what would this do to them or their child.
I realized that I was taking this personally. Why had she done this to ME? Why had she let herself get into this dilemma? Why was she punishing ME? Did she dislike her family that much?
And then I thought about what a good daughter she had ALWAYS been. Honest, faithful, true. Never shy about her love for us and her family. Something just wasn’t right. Something in this story wasn’t fitting. I decided to have a sit down talk with the young man who supposedly was the father. He was very shy at first. Quiet, yet calm. He had warm eyes and an endearing smile. He told me of his love for our daughter. How he knew the minute he saw her that she was the one for him. I thought, c’mon, she’s only 14. What could you possibly see that would intrigue you? It was very hard for me to control my thoughts. My first reaction was to think “child molester”, but my spirit would not let me go there. There was just something about this boy....this man. Then it hit me like a huge, gigantic boulder. This guy was not the baby’s father. He was placing himself in that role, but he was not the one. Then who???? Who had been the “child molester”? Who had abused our daughter?
That night, l lay awake once again, trying to make sense of it all. We had asked our daughter over and over, who was the father. She had never really given us an answer. What was she afraid of? Had she truly been abused by some stranger? Had she been raped? Should we have aborted this baby after all? Had a crime been committed? Did we need to seek legal advice? What were we to do?
We never did get the WHOLE story. Just to appease us, she made up some tale that was truly not believable. We decided that maybe she needed some “help”. What kind of help was yet to be determined. Was she just desperate for attention? Going through some rebellious stage? Lord knows, we gave her all the attention she needed.
After the many months of questions and frustration and agony over our daughters situation, she finally delivered her baby. What a beautiful baby boy. His eyes are not like any I have ever seen before. There is warmth and compassion in them. How can that be? He is such a small baby. Our grandson. Oh, how we love him. And how we can feel his love for us. What were we thinking those many months ago? Now, we would never have it any other way. They are right, what they say about being a grandparent, there’s nothing like it. And our daughter has blossomed. She is a perfect mother. She was not being rebellious or trying to hurt her family. She was simply being obedient.
She and Joseph will be getting married this month. We’d like to invite you all to the wedding...And you can meet our grandson and her son....Jesus.
Love to you all.....
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Teenagers
When I was just a young girl, I imagined what life would be like when I grew up. A husband, two kids and a dog. That was about it and that's what I got. Little did I know then, that the best part of that group would be the dog....
Of course, I am kidding. I love my family. My two sons are wonderful. They are growing up quickly and they are learning some very important but tough life lessons. Lessons that one just can't sit back and hope you don't have to go through. These are lessons they have to learn on the battlefront. Have they failed the tests? Heavens no. Have they tested the tests? Oh YES...
We as parents, so much want our kids to take the right road, choose the path of least resistance, the way of life and peace and joy. It is such a heavy burden on our hearts when they choose their way. The way of the world. The way "all their friends" are going. It requires daily and nightly prayer on the part of parents. We lift them up continuously. We are assured that God is holding them close to His heart, for we can not love them more than He does. That is our comfort. That is our hope. That is all there is....
For God so loved....
Of course, I am kidding. I love my family. My two sons are wonderful. They are growing up quickly and they are learning some very important but tough life lessons. Lessons that one just can't sit back and hope you don't have to go through. These are lessons they have to learn on the battlefront. Have they failed the tests? Heavens no. Have they tested the tests? Oh YES...
We as parents, so much want our kids to take the right road, choose the path of least resistance, the way of life and peace and joy. It is such a heavy burden on our hearts when they choose their way. The way of the world. The way "all their friends" are going. It requires daily and nightly prayer on the part of parents. We lift them up continuously. We are assured that God is holding them close to His heart, for we can not love them more than He does. That is our comfort. That is our hope. That is all there is....
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