The Lord is my Father...

The Lord is my Father.
He loves me unconditionally.

He teaches me right from wrong.
He loves truth and turns His eye from evil.

When I stray, He disciplines me with His love.
When I am obedient, He empowers me with His love.

He watches out for my safety and protects me.
His mighty hand reaches out and saves me from calamity and death.

He feeds me from His abundance.
I do not hunger or thirst.

He comforts me in times of pain
And rejoices with me in times of success.
He keeps me close to His heart for His purposes.

Though I may walk the wider path,
He never leaves me. He never stops loving me.
He stands in the doorway expectantly watching for my return.
His house is always open and His arms are outstretched.

Surely He will keep me and I will dwell with Him all the days of my life.

Love Found

One lonely tree on a hill stood
Its future completely misunderstood
Those who saw it thought it shame
And the One who bore it would take the blame

Jesus carried that tree down a dark lonely road
Tired and weary from His heavy load
But He didn’t stop at all that day
For He knew the end would pave the way

I found Love on a hill that day
He hung from a cross and some would say
That He deserved it, to hang from that tree
But giving all, He did it for me

He opened His arms and gave His last breath
For God had ordained it to be His death
The final sacrifice so we could be saved
That tree would be the only way

I found Love on a hill that day
He hung from a cross and some would say
That He deserved it, to hang from that tree
But giving all, He did it for me

Going Home

When I breathe my last breath
And finally let go
I want to see Your face
If You are not there
Then this life of mine
Has only been a waste

I long for the day
When our eyes will meet
And I will hear You say
Welcome home my child
You have run your race
You have found your way

Don't be afraid to go home
Don't be afraid to finish
You are tired and weary away from Him
Go and let Him replenish

The day I was born
You were there with me
To see it all take place
To capture my heart
Was your greatest task
Even if You gave chase

Through all the years
You stayed close by my side
And never failed to see
That I did my all
To heed your call
And that’s what set me free

So…..
I won't be afraid to come home
I won't be afraid to finish
I am tired and weary away from You
I will come and let You replenish

Letters to my son....

Dear Son,

Well, it's done. Graduation is over, the parties are coming to an end. Preparation has begun for life after high school.

This past year has been tough with it's trials and tribulations. Those wings of yours have opened and you have begun to soar. As you fly above, look down and reflect on your life. The good, the bad, the meaningful and the meaningless. Throw away that which does not matter and cling to those things that do. Let go of past mistakes and start your future today. Start a path of defining moments that will define the true you. Son of ours and friend of God, sensitive and caring, striving to always do the right thing, defining your future and the course it will take.

These next few years will be fun, hard, life-changing years. You will explore your worth. You will fail, you will triumph. You will lose and you will win. You will make choices and reap the results of those choices...good or bad. You will let go of the child and grab onto the adult that so desparately wants to blossom. You will be loved by many and not by a few. Cling to the love and allow the hate to fall away. It's just not worth holding on to. Keep the Lord close to you. Cling to Him when there's nothing left to do. Listen to His still, small voice when deciding what to do. Walk with Him daily to know how to do. He's all you need.

Dad and I love you so much and are so excited to watch your future unfold. We are proud of you. We brag about you. When you hurt, we hurt. When you are excited, we are excited. When you are full of joy, we are full of joy. That's just how it goes with parents.

We have great expectations of your future. We have an assurance that all will be well with you.

Begin this adventrue with excitement and determination. It's a great ride...but hold on.

We love you Son, and are so proud of you....

Love,
Mom

WHAT NEXT?

As I ponder yet another disappointment, I have to ask myself, what next?  I know my questions are not earth-shattering problems.  I don't have anyone close to me suffering with an incurable disease, I haven't lost a job, I have a wonderful husband who love's me ....so why should I concern myself with, what's next?

You know, my "what's next" may not be significant in the whole scheme of life, but it is significant to me.  Therefore, I must conclude that it is also significant to God.  If He truly cares about every hair on my head, then He truly cares about my little world and it's seemingly insignificance.

But my question is, why am I so hurt by the choices of another.  Were they choices I made?  Certainly not.  Were they avoidable choices?  Absolutely.  Are they now coming back to haunt?  You betcha!  One would think that the recipient of all this would be saying "What's Next".  But, that is not the case.  The recipient of the continual "bad news" just keeps taking things in stride.  An "oh well" attitude.  It doesn't seem to motivate him to do any better.  It doesn't seem to make him remorseful.  It doesn't seem to really matter at all.  Is that just a show, or is he truly being touched somehow.  You know we have our way of making our outward appearance seem fine when we are dying on the inside.

For me, it all comes back to that "love" thing.  That stuff God has for us and we in turn have for OUR children.  I am getting a closer and closer glimpse of just what God goes through everytime we go around the same mountain.  I am getting a glimpse of what it means to truly reap what you sow.  I am getting a glimpse of His frustration with His people after time and time-again getting chances to do it right.  I am getting a glimpse of His Heart.  So much bigger than mine and yet just as breakable. 

So here I am, stuck again, in the heart, with a knife.  And this one has two edges, so it can rightly divide my flesh from the spirit.  It makes my heart hurt and my flesh ache.  But I know, that this "working" in me will draw me closer to Him, and in the end, that's all I want.  No, I can't say that's ALL I want.  In complete honesty, I want my kids to be drawn closer to Him.  And maybe they are, maybe all this IS having an affect on them.  Maybe, they are starting to see.  Maybe....

So, "what's next" isn't really a question I should be asking.  For I know, that whatever is next, is doing it's work in me and those around me.  I have to trust....yeah, there's that "word" that none of us really like, I have to trust, that God knows my future and that of my kids.  And that He has their best in mind at ALL times.  And I have to trust, that they will someday make that choice for themselves.  I just can't do it for them and the Lord knows I have tried.  So, what's next???  We'll just have to wait and see.

For the Boyz

I know that you are growing
By many leaps and bounds
And no longer any prints
On my walls or cupboards found.

And as you grow along
Into a fine young man
I still see those little fingers
And it's hard to understand.

Where all the time flew by
It seemed to go so fast
The distance now between us
Has me longing for the past.

To hold you once again
Enclosed within my arms
Would be my hearts desire
To keep you from all harm.

But as you grow and soar
Remember this one thing
The baby bird must fly
Before he learns to sing.

Go after life...Grab it...Don't let go!
For God has made you for just a time as this....

I love you boys...
Mom

Love's Plan

"I know the plans that I have for you...."  (Jeremiah 29:11) That's a verse that we Christians cling to.  We use it for ourselves.  We use it for our children, our families, our friends.  We hold on to that promise every day.  There are a lot of promises in the Bible, but that one seems to sum it all up.  It comforts us, it gives us peace and reminds us of God's constant love for us.  His intimate, heart-piercing love for all His children.

You know, I have plans for my children too.  Plans for good and not for evil.  Plans for a future and a hope.  And like God, I too, love my children more than life itself.  If I could give my life for theirs, I would,  If it would save them, I would.  Just as God did for us.  He gave us Jesus because He loved us that much.  There was one big difference,  Jesus WAS able to save us.  He was God made flesh and walked among us.  He suffered our sufferings.  He walked where we walk, but He was without sin.  A far cry from my abilities.

There is something about love that drives us.  It consumes us.  It gives us purpose.  It is hopeful.  It is something we can't live without.  It desires only the best.  It drives us to do things.  As a parent, I want to solve everything for my kids.  I want to usher them into success, skirt them away from failure, help them avoid costly mistakes.  But as I contemplate that, is that really the right thing to do?  Does God do that for us?  Does He take our hand and make our lives a bed of roses?  Why then, do I feel it necessary to do that for MY children.

God gives us principles to live by.  He teaches us in love the meaning of integrity, of unselfishness, of serving others.  He GUIDES us with His love.  The choice is still ours.  We have to "determine" what we will do.  He may not like our choices, but He doesn't stop loving us because of them, nor do we stop loving our children.

Maybe somewhere along the way, I didn't GUIDE them as I should have.  Or is it that my kids "determined" their own way in spite of guidance.  And is that a reflection on me?  Is it a reflection on God when we don't follow His way?  Certainly not. It's not His fault that we choose to go our own way.  And it's not our fault when our children do the same. It breaks God's heart when our choices cause us pain. And it breaks my heart when my kids choices cause pain. 

But God is God and I'm not.  He is the one in control.  I am only human.  And my children are human and make choices for which THEY are responsible....not me.  I have to let them go at some point.  God let's us go at some point, to make choices and learn the best way for us.  We don't always do it right, but He is always there.  My kids won't always do it right, but they need to know that I will always be there....because that's Love's Plan.

Anyone Home?

"Oh Lord"....when you hear my voice, do you sigh and say, "Oh, it's you again!"?

Do you ever feel that way?  That He just wishes that for once you would not call...that He just lets the phone ring and pretends He isn't there...or better yet, takes it off the hook and you just keep getting a busy signal?  Sometimes it feels like we get a busy signal.  You wish He would at least let the answering machine pick up...."Hello, this is God.  I'm taking a little break right now.  If this message is urgent, press one to contact your local pastor, otherwise, leave your name and number and I'll get back with you soon.  Have a blessed day!"

Soon??  And what is considered "soon" in God time?  That's the one question we never seem to get an answer to.  Along with most of the others.  "But God, you don't understand.  My call is urgent and the local pastor will not do.  I need to talk to You.  I need You to listen to me.  I need to tell you what's been going on with me."

Well, guess again....He already knows.  Now that's the tricky part.  Why do I have to keep telling Him when He already knows?  Yeah, that's exactly what He says..."why do you keep telling me when I already know?" Because you told me to God.  You told me to be persistent...speak my needs, talk to you, tell you my desires and dreams.  Lay all my burdens on You. I do all that and then some.  When are you going to answer...that's the real question?

And then it happens....in the stillness of the night, in the quiet of an empty heart, after pouring out just one more time...the answer comes.  But it does not come in words, or actions or through another person or even through a change of circumstance.  It comes in Peace.  Overwhelming Peace. That Peace that goes way beyond our understanding. That OverPowering Peace that only One can give.  And it's there...it's just there.  And we don't know when or why or how, but it's there.  And we know at that very moment, we can last one more day...

TRUTH

The truth is...the truth is at our fingertips...in the very air we breathe...it envelops us at all times. When we relax and bask in that truth, our way is peace...not always pleasant, but there is peace. When we try to break out of that truth, it takes our breath, it uncovers us, it leaves us vulnerable to anyone and anything that comes along. We need not fear the truth, but must embrace the truth, for if we don't, fear WILL overcome us....