You know it seems that most of us bloggers and writers so much of the time write out of our desperation, out of our pain, out of our circumstances. How often do we write out of our joy? How often do I allow myself to see the joy that surrounds me everyday?
For so long I wrote about my pain, my children and the circumstances that they were in and I found myself in. Very rarely was there joy in the circumstance but there certainly was joy in finding God's hand in everything that was going on. And when things were running smoothly, ie,the kids were not causing any major problems, there was joy in that as well because the heartache was kind of on the back burner. There seemed to be a break from reality of sorts. God was so gracious in giving me those breaks as well. But did I ever write about that? Not too often.
Well today I want to speak of a humanly unattainable joy. My heart has been filled to overflowing because of God's hand in my life and the lives of my children. Through times of doubt, fear, longing and thoughts of sure destruction, God made His presence most assuredly known.
I could not have ever conceived a better outcome. It is so true that He knows and provides beyond, far BEYOND our fleshly hearts desires and imaginations.
I praise Him for the men my boys have become and are ever becoming. To see their hearts turning to Him and the longing for knowledge, this change is too great for me to comprehend. Only God. Only God!
Is there perfection? Absolutely not. Is there conviction? I hope so...means they are listening. Is there sin? Of course. Do they love Him...without doubt! Are there still questions? Don't we all at some points in our lives!
The God of my heart has taken His rightful place in theirs and they have welcomed Him with open arms. There is still growing up to be done, but my confidence is no longer in my ability, like it ever really, truly was, but in God's ability to completely hold and protect their hearts.
For that, I can not thank Him enough....
Monday, November 11, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Love Rescued
Love rescued me when love could not be found.
Hope found me when there was no hope given.
Jesus saved me from a life that I couldn't save.
Grace forgave me when I didn't deserve forgiven.
He was there when I didn't have the strength to seek Him.
He stayed with me when I wanted to leave.
He lifted me from the depths of my sin.
He loved me when I didn't believe.
Love never gives up...
It persues to the end.
Hope found me when there was no hope given.
Jesus saved me from a life that I couldn't save.
Grace forgave me when I didn't deserve forgiven.
He was there when I didn't have the strength to seek Him.
He stayed with me when I wanted to leave.
He lifted me from the depths of my sin.
He loved me when I didn't believe.
Love never gives up...
It persues to the end.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Outside Looking In
As I sit here..outside, on this half-sunny day, I can see inside-where it's warm, people doin' "their thing". The little old man with his morning bowl of soup, here every day...the artist, with his bare canvas-waiting to "create" something new...the older married couple with their newspapers and books-talking some, reading more...the business man with his tablet and phone starting his day with coffee and ideas. And then me-on the outside looking in.
I can only see so far as I gaze through the window. I am limited by the darkness that reaches just beyond the edge. I can see myself the most clearly, sitting in the sun looking in, seeing my reflection in the glass. The clouds and trees behind me are muted, yet clear. I have never sat this way when here, usually looking out from the shade so as to avoid the sun. Yet, today being brisk, the sun feels wonderful on my face. That puts me in the awkward position of looking in...seeing myself and those just on the edge of darkness. It makes me a little uncomfortable because as I look in, it's hard to tell who is looking out...at me.
And then there's the sun...the warmth of it's light, the clearness of it's beauty, it's ability to illuminate with it's equal ability to conceal. You wonder how that can be possible. It seems contradictory. Doesn't light ALWAYS illuminate? How can light produce darkness? When our reflection and those things around us are brighter than what lies beyond the glass, that's when it happens. Sometimes we are on the inside, looking out at the light, still seeing clearly but not being clearly seen by those on the other side-actually sitting IN the light.
So many times when we are IN the light, we only see the perimeter, the edges of things-we can't see into the darkness because the light is too great. And sometimes when we are in the darkness looking out, we see everything in the light much more clearly. We can see all around us as well.
So which is better? To be IN the light with limited vision into the darkness or on the edge of darkness and able to see clearly out? Perhaps sometimes we are called to be in the light, to see our reflection clearly, for introspection and sometimes we are called to be on the edge of darkness-to look out and see the Light and Hope that resounds with overwhelming noise.
When we go through the dark times, God allows us to see beyond the edge-into the Light-to see the hope and future He has for us. When we are in the Light-God protects us from seeing into the darkness too clearly. We must at some point experience both places....for reflection and clarity.
I can only see so far as I gaze through the window. I am limited by the darkness that reaches just beyond the edge. I can see myself the most clearly, sitting in the sun looking in, seeing my reflection in the glass. The clouds and trees behind me are muted, yet clear. I have never sat this way when here, usually looking out from the shade so as to avoid the sun. Yet, today being brisk, the sun feels wonderful on my face. That puts me in the awkward position of looking in...seeing myself and those just on the edge of darkness. It makes me a little uncomfortable because as I look in, it's hard to tell who is looking out...at me.
And then there's the sun...the warmth of it's light, the clearness of it's beauty, it's ability to illuminate with it's equal ability to conceal. You wonder how that can be possible. It seems contradictory. Doesn't light ALWAYS illuminate? How can light produce darkness? When our reflection and those things around us are brighter than what lies beyond the glass, that's when it happens. Sometimes we are on the inside, looking out at the light, still seeing clearly but not being clearly seen by those on the other side-actually sitting IN the light.
So many times when we are IN the light, we only see the perimeter, the edges of things-we can't see into the darkness because the light is too great. And sometimes when we are in the darkness looking out, we see everything in the light much more clearly. We can see all around us as well.
So which is better? To be IN the light with limited vision into the darkness or on the edge of darkness and able to see clearly out? Perhaps sometimes we are called to be in the light, to see our reflection clearly, for introspection and sometimes we are called to be on the edge of darkness-to look out and see the Light and Hope that resounds with overwhelming noise.
When we go through the dark times, God allows us to see beyond the edge-into the Light-to see the hope and future He has for us. When we are in the Light-God protects us from seeing into the darkness too clearly. We must at some point experience both places....for reflection and clarity.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
A Matter of Life and Death
We all have heard the warning..."it's a matter of life and death!" Usually it is in reference to some significant occurance that we believe will bring death if we do not act upon it. It could be a life-threatening disease. It could be real or it could be a "potential" threat. We teach our children, for example, not to run out in the street. That truly could be a matter of life and death. Or we preach against risky behavior because that could be a matter of life or death.
So what does the phrase mean? In the matter of death, is it referring to our flesh which will die some day and go back to dust? And regarding the matter of life...is it speaking of our day-to-day existence with our day-to-day routines? What is the true meaning behind this warning? Does it have any importance in how we live our life? Can anything we do in life really affect our death? Afterall, we certainly know that death is something that none of us escapes. We are all treated equally when it comes to this particular aspect of life. None of us knows the day nor the hour that it will come and none of us can appoint our own time. This is truly all in God's hands.
And just what does happen when we die? Do we really know? Do we have any assurances that reach beyond our human doubt? Alot depends on what we believe in life. Personally, I cling to the promises found in Jesus. Not because I am weak or afraid, but because He IS my life. My only hope is in Him. My future is all in His hands and He saves me from death eternal. I do not believe that when all is said and done, I will go back to dust and that will be the end. If that was the case, it would raise the question; What was the point?
What about the unbeliever? The person who has no concern for end of life issues other than who they will leave their money to. The successful person who is healthy, happy, married with two kids and lives their life with wise caution-trying to stay on the straight and narrow. They are overall a "good" person. They pour everything into this life for once you're gone, you're gone. There really is no need for a "saviour". To be saved from what? Christians suffer as much as the next guy. These are the ones who probably never use the phrase in its most literal form. And should they? Should they be concerned with matters of life and death?
The only answer is yes. To put our faith and confidence in Jesus in this life, is to assure our place in death. Jesus was not JUST a nice guy who lived a long time ago to bring love and peace. He was not JUST a great prophet or a "good" person. He was and is the Son of God. He did not come here to bring happiness and an easy road in this life. His life was far from easy. He was hated by His own, betrayed by those who loved Him, beaten, spat upon and finally, hung on a cross and left to die. But his enemies didn't get it. They didn't understand the why. They didn't know WHO He was. That His death was NOT the end. He defeated death and the grave and He did it for us. He took on our sin to save US from certain death. He sacrificed His life so that our death would NOT be the worst thing to happen. Death would NOT have the final word. He gave His life so that we could have life and life everlasting.
So we are given a choice; To accept this life as it is with ultimate death OR choose Jesus and His promise of Life-now and without end. Now THAT is a matter of Life and Death to consider...
So what does the phrase mean? In the matter of death, is it referring to our flesh which will die some day and go back to dust? And regarding the matter of life...is it speaking of our day-to-day existence with our day-to-day routines? What is the true meaning behind this warning? Does it have any importance in how we live our life? Can anything we do in life really affect our death? Afterall, we certainly know that death is something that none of us escapes. We are all treated equally when it comes to this particular aspect of life. None of us knows the day nor the hour that it will come and none of us can appoint our own time. This is truly all in God's hands.
And just what does happen when we die? Do we really know? Do we have any assurances that reach beyond our human doubt? Alot depends on what we believe in life. Personally, I cling to the promises found in Jesus. Not because I am weak or afraid, but because He IS my life. My only hope is in Him. My future is all in His hands and He saves me from death eternal. I do not believe that when all is said and done, I will go back to dust and that will be the end. If that was the case, it would raise the question; What was the point?
What about the unbeliever? The person who has no concern for end of life issues other than who they will leave their money to. The successful person who is healthy, happy, married with two kids and lives their life with wise caution-trying to stay on the straight and narrow. They are overall a "good" person. They pour everything into this life for once you're gone, you're gone. There really is no need for a "saviour". To be saved from what? Christians suffer as much as the next guy. These are the ones who probably never use the phrase in its most literal form. And should they? Should they be concerned with matters of life and death?
The only answer is yes. To put our faith and confidence in Jesus in this life, is to assure our place in death. Jesus was not JUST a nice guy who lived a long time ago to bring love and peace. He was not JUST a great prophet or a "good" person. He was and is the Son of God. He did not come here to bring happiness and an easy road in this life. His life was far from easy. He was hated by His own, betrayed by those who loved Him, beaten, spat upon and finally, hung on a cross and left to die. But his enemies didn't get it. They didn't understand the why. They didn't know WHO He was. That His death was NOT the end. He defeated death and the grave and He did it for us. He took on our sin to save US from certain death. He sacrificed His life so that our death would NOT be the worst thing to happen. Death would NOT have the final word. He gave His life so that we could have life and life everlasting.
So we are given a choice; To accept this life as it is with ultimate death OR choose Jesus and His promise of Life-now and without end. Now THAT is a matter of Life and Death to consider...
Monday, March 25, 2013
The Wild Seedling
As I look out my kitchen window, I see a tree in my neighbor's back yard that is not the prettiest. This particular tree grew from a wild seedling that had buried itself right next to the fence. You know the ones, you have to keep cutting them down or digging them up because a tree or weed is trying to grow. And you never know which one it's going to be. They drive you crazy. Well, this particular seedling was never cut down or dug up and was allowed to grow. Now I figure this happend because it was at the back of the yard, the house was up for sale and nobody payed any attention to it. By the time it was noticed, it had grown quite a bit and was probably considered too large to do anything with. Either that or no one really cared that it grew there, afterall it was in the back of the yard-hardly noticeable to the owner. So, for the past several years the tree has remained.
As far as I can tell, this tree has never been touched; never fertilized, never pruned, never given a second thought. It's limbs are growing awkwardly and the leaves are not very pretty, even in the spring. Where it sprouted, it does not provide any advantage to it's owner-no needed shade or fruit and it eventually will be destructive to the fence. If allowed to continue in it's wild nature it will be cut down or die. Now is that to say that the tree could never be beautiful? It would take a lot of care at this point because of the years of neglect, but nothing is usually impossible for a master gardener; one who is willing to take the time and give the attention required for transformation.
That tree is a perfect reminder to me of our lives without God. Without the One who plants us perfectly where needed, prunes us, waters and cares for us-we grow wildly. We try to plant ourselves where WE want to grow instead of letting Him plant us where we will grow best. Our rebellion against Him grows in all directions trying to survive. Our flesh sprouts and is awkward and ugly. We neglect our spiritual life, we don't give it a second thought. We provide no shade nor bear any fruit of benefit to anyone and eventually we are destructive to all that is around us. If allowed to continue we are cut down or we die in our sin. Is that to say that we could never be made beautiful? Nothing is impossible for the Master Gardener.
Don't let me be like that wild tree. Don't let my children be wild trees. Forgive our rebellion Lord. Plant us where we will grow best and prune us. Only You can transform us with care and love and attention. May we be willing...
As far as I can tell, this tree has never been touched; never fertilized, never pruned, never given a second thought. It's limbs are growing awkwardly and the leaves are not very pretty, even in the spring. Where it sprouted, it does not provide any advantage to it's owner-no needed shade or fruit and it eventually will be destructive to the fence. If allowed to continue in it's wild nature it will be cut down or die. Now is that to say that the tree could never be beautiful? It would take a lot of care at this point because of the years of neglect, but nothing is usually impossible for a master gardener; one who is willing to take the time and give the attention required for transformation.
That tree is a perfect reminder to me of our lives without God. Without the One who plants us perfectly where needed, prunes us, waters and cares for us-we grow wildly. We try to plant ourselves where WE want to grow instead of letting Him plant us where we will grow best. Our rebellion against Him grows in all directions trying to survive. Our flesh sprouts and is awkward and ugly. We neglect our spiritual life, we don't give it a second thought. We provide no shade nor bear any fruit of benefit to anyone and eventually we are destructive to all that is around us. If allowed to continue we are cut down or we die in our sin. Is that to say that we could never be made beautiful? Nothing is impossible for the Master Gardener.
Don't let me be like that wild tree. Don't let my children be wild trees. Forgive our rebellion Lord. Plant us where we will grow best and prune us. Only You can transform us with care and love and attention. May we be willing...
Monday, February 18, 2013
Not Often Enough
Oh how fragile this life is! One moment we are here and all is well, the next we are gone or on our way out.
Are we really promised anything on this journey? Are we promised long life? Are we promised smooth roads? Are we promised no problems along the way? No to all. We are promised protection from the evil one. We are promised love, forgiveness, shelter. Well, shelter from what? We don't need shelter if there is never a storm. Don't need forgiveness if we never do wrong. Always need and desire love. Now that's the one thing it would be hard to live without and luckily, no faithfully, we don't have to.
So we make our plans, we dream our dreams and hope they all come true. But we must not forget the Creator of all we do, of all we are. Does it fit with His plans, His dreams for us? I do believe He has plans and dreams for us, I know He does. Do I move in such a way as to fulfill those dreams and plans? Probably not. Just like a child, I frequently want to go my own way and hope that it somehow fits in His plan. Not exactly what He had in mind.
And just as a young child longs to please his parents, I long to please my Father. And just as a parent is proud when his child does the right thing, so is my Father pleased when I follow Him and do the right thing.
How often does that happen?
Are we really promised anything on this journey? Are we promised long life? Are we promised smooth roads? Are we promised no problems along the way? No to all. We are promised protection from the evil one. We are promised love, forgiveness, shelter. Well, shelter from what? We don't need shelter if there is never a storm. Don't need forgiveness if we never do wrong. Always need and desire love. Now that's the one thing it would be hard to live without and luckily, no faithfully, we don't have to.
So we make our plans, we dream our dreams and hope they all come true. But we must not forget the Creator of all we do, of all we are. Does it fit with His plans, His dreams for us? I do believe He has plans and dreams for us, I know He does. Do I move in such a way as to fulfill those dreams and plans? Probably not. Just like a child, I frequently want to go my own way and hope that it somehow fits in His plan. Not exactly what He had in mind.
And just as a young child longs to please his parents, I long to please my Father. And just as a parent is proud when his child does the right thing, so is my Father pleased when I follow Him and do the right thing.
How often does that happen?
Thursday, January 17, 2013
My Letter to You
Dear Susan,
I love you so much. So much more than you would ever know or try to know. You are in my every thought. I go through every trial and celebration with you. I am always there.
I see how you worry sometimes about your boys. I see that you are trying to raise them on the path that they should go. Give them to Me. I promise to take care of them.
I see you with your mom. I know how much you love her and I see that you get frustrated with her at times. Know this, I love her too. Just as much as I love you. I see the impatience and intolerance on your part and I know her frustrations and intolerances too. Remember to give her to Me.
I see your love for your husband. You are faithful to him. He loves you. And I love him. With all his faults and inadequacies...he is Mine too.
I want you to draw closer to Me. I want you to read My word. I want you to be powerful in My name. I want you to be bold. Repent immediately when you hear My still, small voice-calling to you. Run to Me immediately when your burdens are hard to bear. I WILL give you rest. Turn back to your First Love. Love me like you did before. Don't let a day go by that we don't talk. Commune with Me. Be obedient to My word. Be more giving. I LOVE a giver who gives from their heart alone. With no strings attached. Stay close to My heart. Then I can talk to you and we can commune together. Sacrfice for Me. Pray to Me. Choose Me above all else. Love Me above all else. I love you above all else.
Jesus
I love you so much. So much more than you would ever know or try to know. You are in my every thought. I go through every trial and celebration with you. I am always there.
I see how you worry sometimes about your boys. I see that you are trying to raise them on the path that they should go. Give them to Me. I promise to take care of them.
I see you with your mom. I know how much you love her and I see that you get frustrated with her at times. Know this, I love her too. Just as much as I love you. I see the impatience and intolerance on your part and I know her frustrations and intolerances too. Remember to give her to Me.
I see your love for your husband. You are faithful to him. He loves you. And I love him. With all his faults and inadequacies...he is Mine too.
I want you to draw closer to Me. I want you to read My word. I want you to be powerful in My name. I want you to be bold. Repent immediately when you hear My still, small voice-calling to you. Run to Me immediately when your burdens are hard to bear. I WILL give you rest. Turn back to your First Love. Love me like you did before. Don't let a day go by that we don't talk. Commune with Me. Be obedient to My word. Be more giving. I LOVE a giver who gives from their heart alone. With no strings attached. Stay close to My heart. Then I can talk to you and we can commune together. Sacrfice for Me. Pray to Me. Choose Me above all else. Love Me above all else. I love you above all else.
Jesus
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