As I sit here..outside, on this half-sunny day, I can see inside-where it's warm, people doin' "their thing". The little old man with his morning bowl of soup, here every day...the artist, with his bare canvas-waiting to "create" something new...the older married couple with their newspapers and books-talking some, reading more...the business man with his tablet and phone starting his day with coffee and ideas. And then me-on the outside looking in.
I can only see so far as I gaze through the window. I am limited by the darkness that reaches just beyond the edge. I can see myself the most clearly, sitting in the sun looking in, seeing my reflection in the glass. The clouds and trees behind me are muted, yet clear. I have never sat this way when here, usually looking out from the shade so as to avoid the sun. Yet, today being brisk, the sun feels wonderful on my face. That puts me in the awkward position of looking in...seeing myself and those just on the edge of darkness. It makes me a little uncomfortable because as I look in, it's hard to tell who is looking out...at me.
And then there's the sun...the warmth of it's light, the clearness of it's beauty, it's ability to illuminate with it's equal ability to conceal. You wonder how that can be possible. It seems contradictory. Doesn't light ALWAYS illuminate? How can light produce darkness? When our reflection and those things around us are brighter than what lies beyond the glass, that's when it happens. Sometimes we are on the inside, looking out at the light, still seeing clearly but not being clearly seen by those on the other side-actually sitting IN the light.
So many times when we are IN the light, we only see the perimeter, the edges of things-we can't see into the darkness because the light is too great. And sometimes when we are in the darkness looking out, we see everything in the light much more clearly. We can see all around us as well.
So which is better? To be IN the light with limited vision into the darkness or on the edge of darkness and able to see clearly out? Perhaps sometimes we are called to be in the light, to see our reflection clearly, for introspection and sometimes we are called to be on the edge of darkness-to look out and see the Light and Hope that resounds with overwhelming noise.
When we go through the dark times, God allows us to see beyond the edge-into the Light-to see the hope and future He has for us. When we are in the Light-God protects us from seeing into the darkness too clearly. We must at some point experience both places....for reflection and clarity.
